About four months ago, I stopped blogging.
To many I simply walked away.
Others wonder what happened.
But here is the thing: I had to make the choice to stop. Or.. well, the choice was sort of made for me.
To this day I have mixed emotions about it but I think it’s definitely time to speak up and talk about it.
Four months ago my mother, whom I live with, found out about this blog.
I wish I could tell you she supported me and understood why I feel so passionate about this topic, but sadly that’s not even close to it.
Four months ago my mother got back from a long trip and after seeing how her attitude towards me was a little bit off, I asked her nicely not to go through my things before going to class. Little did I know privacy is not a thing she believes I’m entitled to.
Yes, she went snooping through my stuff and found my sex toys. At least the ones that didn’t fit my locked cases. I felt so violated, angry, conflicted and nervous.
That same night, she came into my room and told me that she needed to talk to me. And with disappointment and concern she told me she had found “my things.” Then proceeded to ask questions like, Why would you need this? Do you put it in there? Are you obsessed?
Since then, my mother has been somehow bullying me and has used the sex toys discovery to threat and shame me. So I stopped blogging. I stopped testing. I stopped reviewing. I stopped masturbating. Blackmail is a powerful thing.
Today I got a package from a company that contacted me a long time ago, turns out their new vibrator is out and ready to be tested. And much like I wasn’t expecting it, I was surprised and hurt by my mother’s words.
So that’s it. That’s my story and the reason why I might or might not stop blogging all together. I feel so very unprofessional and I apologize to all the awesome companies I’m disappointing now that I can’t write the reviews I promised so long ago. But I’m not in a good place mentally right now and I’m not completely sure how to handle it all, more so than I’m financially unable to move out of my parent’s house.
Thank you for understanding and for allowing me to do something I love for 3 wonderful years.
With a heavy but full of love heart,